Like I did at one point. I just wanted it to all get swept away in an earth-shattering tsunami so it would all be wiped clean and I could start anew. No one would know my words or the videos I created. I couldn’t deal. I didn’t want the vulnerability that came with creativity. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted to fail. Only it was like waking up inside a dream. And you realize you’re naked and exposed and in that lapse between dreaming and wakefulness.
Only everyone is looking at your art and creativity instead of your nudity. And they’re mocking you. You just want to wake up and shake free from that kind of intimate exposure. Creatives have an interesting dilemma. We’re typically more depressed than our non-creative counterparts.
Because if we bare all in our work, and our work is rejected, then we feel rejected as a whole person. We think we are our work.
It’s devastating to feel we’ve bared all only to find out it’s ripped to shreds. If your spreadsheet gets ripped to shreds on a financial project, you’re more likely to be aggravated by the time lost and tender bruise to your ego than feeling it’s literally a piece of you. Personified. Like so many of us, those editors were afraid to show their real vulnerability; their real creativity. I was sharing a few emails with Corbett Bar at Think Traffic about this subject.
That while creative strategies and resources would be a part of my site, my gut tells me really showing myself and being vulnerable will be key. He reminded me to have a purpose behind being vulnerable; and I see that purpose as sharing a personal journey while showing other people how to be creative. And not to hide behind the veil. I use to hide. I use to downplay how many careers I’ve had to anyone but my closest friends.
I could reinvent myself based on who I was talking to and what I thought they would respect the most: Video Editor, Segment Writer, Online Copywriter, Animated Educational Segment Writer, Travel Writer, Outdoors Writer, Multimedia Director for a Broadway marketing firm. But I use to worry over the amount of titles I’ve worn. Fretted over the details with those meddling in my life. Of those whose opinions mattered. And of those who didn’t.
But now I know it’s just me that matters. I made the veil, and now I don’t want to wear it. So here’s what’s underneath. I like creative work. I like diversity. I like change. I like connection. I like marketing. I like storytelling. And I love creative energy and strategy.
And I want it all. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t think it is. And neither should you. The fastest way to true creativity is to let down the veil. Just show who you are and what your experiences got you there. Otherwise you’ll spend all your time artfully keeping up the guise. And your true creative point-of-view will trickle away in an energy suck. Start with one defining experience that drastically impacted your life. Start there and let it splinter. Who are you? And what are you trying to say?